Toxic Relationship

Assalamualaikum and hello readers.. 

Baru-baru ni aku ada involve dgn situation that I can label it as "TOXIC RELATIONSHIP". Tapi jangan risau. Bukan my relationship sebab aku tak ada bofriend ('No Men No Cry' tapi hakikatnya berakar bontot menunggu prince charmingku). For someone who dont know ape itu toxic relationship, meh nak bagitau. Toxic Relationship is any relation that is unfavorable to you or others. Senang cerita relationship yang tak healthy. It can be from both or only one person. Now I tell you my story about friend of mine yang involve in this kind of relationship. My friend's name is Capik (bukan nama sebenar) and his girlfriend's name Emma (bukan nama sebenar). 

Aku kenal Emma since orientation masa degree dekat Kuching, Sarawak. Kitorang tak kawan rapat pon sebab tak boleh nak 'click' bila lepak if you know what I mean. So one day she wanna join me for dinner and I said why not. That time si Capik and also few other friends also ada. So masa ni la diorang dua ni kenal and exchange phone number but they didnt contact frequent as far as I know la kan. but I mention to him once 'I support you if you like someone but not her'. I dont know why, she kinda look innocent but something bout her that I dont like. Since korang semua dah tau macam mana diorang kenal, I skip the beginning part. 

Diorang start diorang punya relationship masa cuti semester. I knew from Capik about their relationship. So I asked him how they end up in a relationship. My friend said during semester break, she's having problem with her boyfriend and tell my friend all her problem (she actually told me once also about her problem but I just listen). So my friend kononnya jadi pendengar setia keluh kesah minah ni la. sebab dah banyak dengar dia pon jadi kesian and dari kesian timbul sayang. Then he mintak couple with that girl. 

People used to say that first 2/3 month is the honeymoon time. All went well and happy. After Semester break end, I went back to hostel and as usual me and my friend lepak for dinner. Then she called but he didnt wanna pick up. I feel suspicious but dont wanna ask. Then after few weeks I decided to ask bout their relationship. Then I knew that they having problem and I kinda figured she's the source of this problem. 

Here's why:

1. She texted me asking where is Capik and I said I dont know cause I have event to organised at that time. I ask why dont she call him and she said she did but Capik didnt pick up. She insist wanna meet me and gave kinda weird reason. she said she wanna meet me to give sourvenirs that she bought in Singapore. I did tell her to pass it to Capik instead sebab kitorang memang akan jumpa kat campus tapi dia insist nak bagi jugak. Mesti korang confuse kan sebab mula-mula I mention that we are studying in the same uni. and hoorayy to sesapa yang teka betul, she quit after 1 year study. Back to my story, I said "fine" and told her where am I. She came and give me all those stuff and maybe she figured out that Capik not with me then she left. hmmmmmmmmm...........Lu pikir la sendiri.......

2. She texted me and comment on his others kawan perempuan's instagram post saying nonsense like 'He smile a lot with you guys but not with me", "What he felt at the moment?", and many more. I'm not sure bout you guys but if I am the girlfriend, I will ask that to my boyfriend and solve it just the two of us. Will not involve third person especially when the third person is close to one of them. 

3. She came to his place in the middle of the night just to make sure he's back home before midnight. Can you guys imagine? like wtf! Is he 16 years old kid? He's already in his mid 20's okay. If she did that after they went out together of course I understand but she did that whenever he didnt reply to her text. If she figured hes not home yet she will text me asked for him like am I his nanny? Duhhhh he have his own life btw. 

4. I become the bad guy in their relationship suddenly. I knew from Capik, my name always become a topic when they fight because I'm close with Capik. She label me as someone who trying to rampas boyfriend dia. pfffttt..so ridiculous.. (macam la hensem sangat boyfriend dia..)

5. Suddenly my name appears in her whatsapp story which of course lead to the negativity side. I'm impressed! I asked my friend what the hell happen. Then he said she posted that just because he dont wanna go breakfast with her (Blur...........). Apa connection dengan aku pulak kan? korang gaduh korang dua dah la. nak libatkan aku kenapa. lmao. 

and there's many other things happen for the past few months. Banyak lagi benda yang dia buat that I dont wanna mention here sebab too much to process. To make it simple for you guys to understand. Korang pegi youtube and watch 'Girlfriend Aku Dari Neraka' and see Sakinah's character. Emma is 50% of that perangai. 

Maybe some of you guys tertanya-tanya kenapa tak break up je kan? senang. Tapi susah for him la cause she threaten him if he wanna break up she will suicide or kacau all of his kawan perempuan in whatsapp and instagram or come to his place in the middle of the night just to cry her ass off. I can say she did many thing that I didnt expect. 

If you guys ask for my opinion, I would say that both of them salah but the way she handle it probably too much. Now people around him talk behind his back about their relationship and sometimes they gossip bout them in front of his face. If aku jadi dia, memang malu wey. 

Advised from me for people out there:

1. Jangan overjealous/oversuspicious/overreact and macam-macam lagi yang over la especially girls. Guys also got their limits to handle girls. Dont torture them with your ridiculous attitude just to pleased yourself. 

2. Do not involve other person when korang gaduh because you never know what that third person capable of. Nanti takut malu sendiri. 

3. If you are wrong admit it. Dont put the blame on others. Everyone make mistake. 

4. THINK before you DO something. Not the other way around. 

I think that's all for my story. If you guys have any experience on toxic relationship boleh la kongsi sama. Maybe we can figure how to overcome this issues. I doubt it (here come my negative thought hahahahahaha). Till next time and thank for read my blog. ^ ^

In Friendship, Jealousy is Normal or Not?

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone,

Right now I'm in a state of confusion. I have a guy friend and he also my bestfriend. I'll name him A. We are so close so we share lot of secrets, spend most of our time together and help each other when needed. I am so thankful for that. then, this one girl came into our life and she is also my friend. I introduce her to A cause we started to study together. From what I see, this girl is attention seeker. She like to have A's attention and I dont know why. For your info, she has bf already but study in other state. At first A dont like her personality and he tell me that. He always complain to me about her. the girl also started to do what I like to do with him. For example, we jokes and slap each other body just for fun but we did naturally. She suddenly did that to A in front of me and normal reaction for A, he slap back. I was like "whatever". As time flies, she always did that repeatedly when we study together to the point it's so annoying. Then she quit university. We lost contact for few months. 

One night, I texted A for dinner but he said he cannot go cause he go dinner with this girl. I'm so surprise that they still in touch. Everything was okay and suddenly I feel like A are keeping secret from me. He started to focus on this girl a lot and I get pushed aside. They always make plans together but also complaining about each other to me. Sometimes, she asked me whether I want to join them for an event. I said I'll think about it. Then she said "If u dont wanna go, I'm not going also" and want to register together. It turn out she register already without telling me. So I end up didnt register cause past due date. and Sometimes, A tell me the girl's problem and ask whether she tell me. I said she didnt tell me anything. Then I found out she share lot of her problems with him including her relationship problem. I dont have a problem about her sharing her problem to him, but why involve me in the situation. It seems like she want to tell me that she's close to A compared to me. Maybe I thought wrong but that's what I feel. Whenever three of us go out together, they always slapping each other, jokes around while I'm there like a street lamp post. Nowadays, they often go out together and he didnt even tell me and of course I know from the girl. He also start to forgot something that I ask. Maybe I'm not "memahami" enough. I just assume he has lot of things in his mind to think about. 

At some point, I feels like my existence are not important anymore to him and I feels he's so far for me to reach. I feels so sad when they jokes around together eventho I'm there with them. I just laugh at their jokes but feels awkward with them. I dont know whether I'm just overthinking or being a dramatic but I do feels lonely around them. My heart hurt but I fake a smile and laugh together with them. 

So let me ask u guys. Am I being dramatic? or Overthinking? or Jealous? Is this normal in friendship? What do u guys think?